Phantom Ink: Masqueraaaade!

Disclaimer: If you have not read or seen the Phantom of the Opera in some form or fashion, then this post will probably be more confusing than interesting. Anyway, here's another blog about ink. Read on if you must.

General Inspiration

My latest tattoo was inspired by Andrew Lloyd Webber's The Phantom of the Opera.  In 1986, Andrew Lloyd Webber blessed the world with his broadway musical version of the Gaston Leroux novel about the scary man with a mask - who happens to be a genius of music, engineering, and other stuff - running about the Opera Populaire, scaring and killing people as he coaches the soprano, Christine Daae. Yes, that was my run-on sentence summary of the story; too bad, that's all I've got at the moment. Anyway, a more interesting and historically significant note about the show, it became the longest-running Broadway show in 2006, with its 10,000th show on Broadway occurring in 2012 ("Andrew Lloyd Webber, n.d.).

About the Lyrics

In the show, the song, "Masquerade," is performed at, yes, a masquerade ball. You can watch a version of it performed here: Masquerade on Stage. You can also check out the lyrics here: Masquerade Lyrics. The first few chorus lines, "Masquerade, paper faces on parade. Masquerade, hide your face so the world will never find you" are also performed by the Phantom in his sorrow at the end of the performance when he decides to let his muse, love, and stalker victim (riiiight?) go free with her love interest, Raoul. You can see that scene here: Phantom of the Opera: Final Scene. Note: The Phantom sings the actual lines from "Masquerade" at about 11:00 minutes. However, feel free to watch the whole scene for added emotion.

The Ink

So, if you have not figured it out by now, I selected a line from the lyrics...

"Masquerade, hide your face so the world will never find you."

I chose this line because I feel it really does remind me of me. All of my life, I have lived in the shadow of my own perfectionism. I wore an emotional mask to hide the depression and anger that lived within me. This mask helped me to cope with the outside world, a world that I felt compelled to constantly please with whatever skills or talents I possessed to feel accepted. Eventually, the mask did me no good, and I fell off of the cliff of demise built by my own desire to be everything and anything to everyone else, losing myself in the process.

Now, the mask is more frequently off, and I am able to deal with the ones I choose to wear, the world must deal with the real monster that is ME. :) This line from "Masquerade" illustrates how I see myself in life. I used to see wearing a mask as a bad thing, but in a sense, we all adapt ourselves to a certain degree depending on the situation we're in at the moment. By getting inked with these lyrics, I do not intend to perpetuate the notion of hiding behind my own masks, but serves as a reminder that in the end, it's all about being who you are, whether you're wearing an emotional/social mask or not. Each one of us has a collection of these masks: we all throw on the employee mask, the significant other mask, the friend mask, the parent mask, the teacher mask from time to time. For me, it's a matter of knowing what mask I'm wearing at the time and what the consequences (good and bad) are for doing so. The be-yourself mask is best, in my opinion, but easier said than done, for many.

The first phase.

Interesting Tidbits Around the Ink...

• The week I was considering getting this tattoo, I was shopping for wines at Grapes a Wine Store and the store owner suggested a new white wine called "Incognito." The emblem on the bottle is a white mask that looks like the Phantom's mask.

• The tattoo artist I contacted at Tattoos by Butler is known for his lettering skills. His name is Angel, one of the nicknames of the Phantom of the Opera. Please check him out if you're on the Big Island looking to get a tattoo with some awesome script lettering.

• In the final scene where the Phantom sings these lines, he is usually singing to the scary musical monkey with the cymbals. When I was growing up, I had a similar scary monkey toy that freaked me out - I kept it hidden in my grandparents' front room closet, but strangely, I would regularly go in there and sing to him. Far from anything dramatic and operatic, I sang the Monchichis theme song to him.

• When the Phantom of the Opera soundtrack came out (we had the cassette tape), I was intrigued by the vocal skills of the performers and loved the layers of music and song that were woven together at various points in the play. My brother and I used to try and belt out some of those notes... and we still do! Hah!

Have you gorged yourself at last in your lust for [ink]?

Yup, another reference to the score. Only dorks like me would get that. Now to get rid of those love handles so I can add on more!

 

‘Iwa Ink: Coincidence?

A quick post about the ink again. What a coincidence (or not) that just days after getting inked with my manu ‘iwa tattoo, I would see one soaring above me in Kailua Kona. I have not seen them for years, yet, one appeared in the bright blue sky right above me. How cool is that?!!

‘Iwa Ink Update... and Approval!

So, it's done. It took a little over an hour to complete and I am really happy with the results.

If you've read my prior blog entry regarding this design, it's based on some moments of my life growing up with my grandfather. I hope that those who read that blog entry understood the deep meaning behind this design and the reason for selecting it for (a part of) this tattoo. After having the tattoo done tonight, I can add a little more to this depth to the story...

My grandfather's Hawaiian name is "Kauakanilehua." It is a reference to the Kanilehua rains that fall in Hilo, and translated further, it's technically "the rain that makes noise in the lehua (trees)." For us, it represented that moment when you can hear sound of rain approaching... If you've lived in Hilo long enough, you will understand what I mean. If you've danced hula and performed "Hilo Hanakahi" or any Hilo song mentioning the Kanilehua rain, you'll get it in this format: "make the rain, clap, make the flowers."

After getting inked up tonight, I took my tattoo-session-moral-supporter best friend to dinner for some comfort food - KHOP! Shortly after being seated, we heard rain starting to fall outside and, eventually, a downpour. All I could think of was, "Papa knows that I got the tattoo... and I think (I hope) this means that he approves." Very soon after that, the rain stopped. Like the ‘iwa birds served as a sign to my grandfather, perhaps the rain itself has now become a sign of him.

Thank you to Brady at 202 Tattoo in Hilo for providing his pro inking skills to make my design a reality. I am looking forward to finishing the art for this chest/shoulder piece and coming back to see you.

Thank you Shari for being a part of another adventure in the tattoo world and for keeping me company during the session. You're next (again).

Still smiling through the pain... NAH, no pain!

First glance of the new tattoo!

‘Iwa Ink?

When the black silhouettes of the ‘iwa (great frigate bird) appeared over my grandparents' house, I would stare at them in awe, thinking that they were some kind of pterodactyl that somehow escaped the fate of the other dinosaurs. Never flapping their wings, I wondered how they were up there. There was usually more than one, so you can imagine the scenes of some cheesy sci-fi thriller, "When Pterodactyls Attack" that would play through my mind. Eventually my grandfather would explain to me that they were birds (wow, really?) and were harbingers of something at sea, most likely a storm which had driven them inland. Fast-forward a couple of decades after the Internet became available to us all, I eventually discovered, thanks to Google, that these birds will spend most of their lives at sea and in flight, close to their homes, usually landing only to incubate eggs and all that good stuff you would likely see as a part of the Nat Geo special for any avian episode.

It has been many years since I have seen one of these effortlessly riding the winds high above, but the next time that I do, I will make sure to scream, "pterodactyl!" for old time's sake. Just kidding. I will look at them in a different light, with a new respect and appreciation for them. My grandfather saw these birds as a sign of something in the distance, something in the near and very possible future. I will wear them as a reminder to myself to heed the signs in life, namely those events that just feel like they're from God. They will be reminders to be attentive, receptive, and aware of things around me. Nā hō‘ailona. (Pay attention, Nic!)

Side note... ‘iwa is a Hawaiian term that means "thief" due to this bird's methods of stealing food from other seabirds. Not always in a negative frame of reference, this concept was also used as a descriptor for Kamehamehaʻs union of the Hawaiian Islands. And... Not that there is any coincidence for my inclusion of this symbol in my design, but how's this ‘olelo no‘eau:

"He ‘iwa ho‘ohaehae nāulu."

It translates into "a frigatebird that teases the rainclouds." It's kaona or hidden meaning is reference to a handsome man which arouses jealousy in others. If you've ever seen ‘iwa in flight, they are pretty impressive, their large wingspans and effortless glide on the wind make for a stately appearance. I doubt I evoke the same kind of emotion when I walk by others. *insert awkward silence*

So now, we shall see if my financial and pain threshold abilities will allow for this to happen.

Here comes 32.

When I was in my early twenties, I declared that I would accomplish a handful of things by the time I reached 30 years of age. Tonight is the eve of my 32^nd birthday and I must admit that out of the three... wait, four... goals that I set for myself a decade ago, I've only accomplished a single one in my 30^th year. A few months before my 31^st birthday, I found myself practicing my signature over and over again on pieces of scratch paper, preparing for the signing of mortgage and title documents. I even selected the pen with which I would sign my name. March 31, 2012 will go down in history as the day that I started my journey through the myriad of emotions that come with home ownership. Regardless, the mental and financial anguish of purchasing and owning a home cannot overcome the pride, excitement and joy of waking up each morning and thinking, "this is my house that I shall make into my home, each and every single day." I'd like to take this time to thank Home Depot for carrying a million color choices on free color sample card. I would also like to thank the creators of Allure vinyl plank flooring.

So, what about those other as yet unfulfilled goals? My 30^th birthday came and went, and so did those goals, well, at least for a while. I sulked in defeat, just for a little, after turning 30. However, the pouty phase eventually wore off and so what if I was 31 when it occurred, I did don a cap and gown once again - this time with a hood, sash, and cords - and survived another commencement exercise that marked my completion of a Master of Arts degree. This leaves two more of those four goals unchecked on the to-do list of my life. With the 30-years-old age deadline on these goals automatically lifted as of July 11, 2012, I have no choice but to make an exception to my self-imposed timeframe and to issue myself a supplemental agreement to extend time of performance (if you've done government procurement and contracting, you should probably get that, bonus if you laughed!). With time not waiting for my accomplishments to occur, my only two options are to 1) give up on those goals, and 2) keep trudging on toward them. Selecting option 1 will lead to a breach of contract, and that would be bad, so I am leaning toward selecting option 2 (Ha-ha-ha, more contracting lingo - so clever, huh?).

I am writing about this not to keep you, the reader, in suspense until I reveal the *gasp* remaining goals of my life. No, that is not the intent, and I probably will not even tell you what they are in this post. What I will tell you is that, as I get older, I feel like I am becoming more skilled at composing goals in business-like fashion, almost with documented action plans and logic models tracking my planned and actual progress toward outputs and outcomes. Hey, actually, that does not seem like such a bad idea; segue to the "Joys of OCD" blog post. On the contrary, what seems to matter more to me now is the fact that I have set these goals for myself and construct general plans to work toward them, not so much the accomplishment of the goal itself or the timeframe in which it should occur. These are not your run-of-the-mill "I will lose 5 pounds" type of goals, but goals that will take emotional and financial endurance like none other. Tomorrow morning, after I wake up, I will ask myself, "Am I ready to tackle working toward these goals?" Well, not before wishing myself a very happy birthday, of course. Okay, I think I’ll have my morning coffee before asking myself that. Actually, I should probably wait to see how my workday goes, too...

There is only one unaccomplished goal in my life that I can attach to the excuse of, "too late for that," and that would be the winning of a gymnastics medal. They don't hold competitions for gymnasts who mount their floor exercise routine with a cartwheel. Sadly, I don't think I could do a cartwheel now if I tried to; this is a sad thought knowing that I could once cover an entire basketball court with a array of handsprings, layouts and twists. Other than this one goal, I am pretty convinced that these other "big" goals that I have consciously (re)placed on my to-do list are achievable goals that are things that I want and things that I am confident about accomplishing.

I came across a quote from author Harvey MacKay online today:

           

            "A dream is just a dream. A goal is a dream with a plan and a deadline."  

I think that many of us allow our dreams die when we become engulfed with the "regular" things we need to do in our lives - parenting, working, cleaning, etc. - or just because we permit ourselves to become too lazy to work toward making a dream into a goal, and becoming even more lazy when it’s time to carry out the plan to achieve that goal. No matter where you are in life, I think it’s important to keep on dreaming and to keep on creating goals from your dreaming. Working with older individuals (a.k.a. “senior citizens” or “elderly”), I see lives being lived with vivacity and fervor by 70-or-80-plus year-olds. Some of our County’s “seniors” in the local line dance classes could probably out-dance me at a shindig. They are living actively despite the biological and sociological barriers that nag at them because they continue to dream, continue to set goals, and continue to thrive. Because they want to and believe that they can. They remind me that at this age, I really have no excuse to be a bundle of defeat.

The goals that still linger in my head are there because they are the products of a dream or two that I am holding onto. I have set some loose guidelines and timelines for them (again!), but will be a little more flexible than I was before; life happens, right? Who knows, they may happen tomorrow, for all I know. I just hope that my family and close friends are ready for a spur-of-the-moment wedding ceremony and reception. Just kidding. Simmer down, folks. That was just a mere example for illustrative purposes. J

Thanks for reading. If you understood, well, thanks for that, too!

Have an amazing day, everyone. God bless y’all!

P.S. Not a totally impressive goal, but here’s a little side story related to a goal I set when I was in high school:

In 1995, Honda Motor Company’s “luxury” division launched the Acura TL sedan. It sported the clean and perfectly balanced lines and build of the Honda lineup of the time, complete with frameless glass windows and yellow fog lights integrated into the headlamps (only true import junkies of that era will understand the “coolness” factor there). I requested a brochure from the Acura dealership in Honolulu as a visual reminder that I would someday drive an Acura TL. I held onto that brochure since then and trashed it only a few years ago.

That someday finally came. I have driven a 1997 Acura TL for the past few years thanks to a lucky buy through a family friend. It looks just like the one that I used to admire on that brochure.

Talk about being patient with a goal.

Heartache and backache.

I love to do my own commentary when I watch gymnastics on television. It's not that Tim Daggett and Elfie Schlaegel are not doing a good job, I just enjoy my fresh bluntness topped with fine profanity where applicable. Okay, so I am technically not qualified to do commentary at the olympic level, but I know good gymnastics when I see it. However, I am saying this as I lay in bed dealing with some problems with my lower back. Forget gymnastics, I could barely ambulate around my house today. Pretty. Darn. Sad.

When I was 10 years old I had already become self taught in the year or so prior in moves like back handsprings and back tuck somersaults. I joined Hilo Gymnastics Club and trained with some old guy as my coach... I can't even remember his name, or wait, I don't think I ever knew it. A few years later I switched to Pacific Gymnastics until I was 16 or so, and then "retired" at the Pantheon School of Gymnastics with some of my friends in the "adult class." I went to college and got fat in my first year sans formal gymnastics, but, joined the now-extinct University of Hawai‘i at Hilo Vulcan Cheerleading squad in 2001. I tumbled and stunted for three years, becoming coach/captain in my senior year. I also coached gymnastics students for a year back at the Pantheon School of Gymnastics and officially ended participation in any form of the sport at the age of 24.

Fast forward to the age of 30.975. The aftermath of years of flipping, twisting, crashing, stretching, splitting, spraining, straining, and hand-standing have caught up with me. I remember the first time my lower back gave out two years ago as I was doing sit-ups on an incline at the fitness center. I crawled to the aerobics room and lay there in pain and shock. Over the last two years I have had numerous recurrences (like this weekend) where I am rendered almost unable to walk or sit without major effort and chance of major pain if I make a wrong move. Almost makes me feel pathetic as I criticize the bent knees in that guy's Stalders on high bar or that girl's lack of a full 180 degree split in her balance beam mount. I. Cannot. Do. A. Cartwheel. Anymore.

I miss the sport. Heck, I miss just being able to touch my toes! But what I really miss is my physical health. I know that gymnastics will always be a passion of mine, but I have come to terms with the passage of time and have claimed my spot as a spectator. I do hope to work on being healthy and fit and flexible again, despite the physical problems that I have incurred. I guess I took my fitness for granted all those years at the peak of my physical capabilities. I refuse to declare that "I am just getting old." Tell that to 1991 floor exercise world champion, Oksana Chusovitina, who participated in 5 olympic games and ended her career as the 2008 olympic champion on vault in Beijing at the age of 33!

So enough laying in bed and anti-inflammatories. The least that I can do for myself is regain my physical health through gradual exercises and therapy (sorry, Shaun T., no more Insanity for a while!) and get away from these backaches once and for all! Off to drill my chiropractor for more tips in fixing my body.

BTW, congratulations to the 2012 olympic men and women's U.S. gymnastics teams! Te trials are through and I think we have some great athletes going to London. They are not immune to my snooty commentary, however! :) Check 'em out here: http://www.nbcolympics.com/team-usa/athletes/sport=gymnastics/index.html

Back to blogging

Here I am. Back at it. I have a lot to share/say and no outlet to do so... so I've decided to see if I can keep at this blogging thing. We shall see if this is the last post for 2012 or not, haha!

I recently signed up for a Wordpress account because one of my friends have started using that for their organization's site. I really have not played with it enough, but I am just wondering if maybe there are better blogging sites out there. Not that it would matter, really, because, how fancy could one really stand to have their blog be?

Well, hope to post again soon!