Here comes 32.

When I was in my early twenties, I declared that I would accomplish a handful of things by the time I reached 30 years of age. Tonight is the eve of my 32^nd birthday and I must admit that out of the three... wait, four... goals that I set for myself a decade ago, I've only accomplished a single one in my 30^th year. A few months before my 31^st birthday, I found myself practicing my signature over and over again on pieces of scratch paper, preparing for the signing of mortgage and title documents. I even selected the pen with which I would sign my name. March 31, 2012 will go down in history as the day that I started my journey through the myriad of emotions that come with home ownership. Regardless, the mental and financial anguish of purchasing and owning a home cannot overcome the pride, excitement and joy of waking up each morning and thinking, "this is my house that I shall make into my home, each and every single day." I'd like to take this time to thank Home Depot for carrying a million color choices on free color sample card. I would also like to thank the creators of Allure vinyl plank flooring.

So, what about those other as yet unfulfilled goals? My 30^th birthday came and went, and so did those goals, well, at least for a while. I sulked in defeat, just for a little, after turning 30. However, the pouty phase eventually wore off and so what if I was 31 when it occurred, I did don a cap and gown once again - this time with a hood, sash, and cords - and survived another commencement exercise that marked my completion of a Master of Arts degree. This leaves two more of those four goals unchecked on the to-do list of my life. With the 30-years-old age deadline on these goals automatically lifted as of July 11, 2012, I have no choice but to make an exception to my self-imposed timeframe and to issue myself a supplemental agreement to extend time of performance (if you've done government procurement and contracting, you should probably get that, bonus if you laughed!). With time not waiting for my accomplishments to occur, my only two options are to 1) give up on those goals, and 2) keep trudging on toward them. Selecting option 1 will lead to a breach of contract, and that would be bad, so I am leaning toward selecting option 2 (Ha-ha-ha, more contracting lingo - so clever, huh?).

I am writing about this not to keep you, the reader, in suspense until I reveal the *gasp* remaining goals of my life. No, that is not the intent, and I probably will not even tell you what they are in this post. What I will tell you is that, as I get older, I feel like I am becoming more skilled at composing goals in business-like fashion, almost with documented action plans and logic models tracking my planned and actual progress toward outputs and outcomes. Hey, actually, that does not seem like such a bad idea; segue to the "Joys of OCD" blog post. On the contrary, what seems to matter more to me now is the fact that I have set these goals for myself and construct general plans to work toward them, not so much the accomplishment of the goal itself or the timeframe in which it should occur. These are not your run-of-the-mill "I will lose 5 pounds" type of goals, but goals that will take emotional and financial endurance like none other. Tomorrow morning, after I wake up, I will ask myself, "Am I ready to tackle working toward these goals?" Well, not before wishing myself a very happy birthday, of course. Okay, I think I’ll have my morning coffee before asking myself that. Actually, I should probably wait to see how my workday goes, too...

There is only one unaccomplished goal in my life that I can attach to the excuse of, "too late for that," and that would be the winning of a gymnastics medal. They don't hold competitions for gymnasts who mount their floor exercise routine with a cartwheel. Sadly, I don't think I could do a cartwheel now if I tried to; this is a sad thought knowing that I could once cover an entire basketball court with a array of handsprings, layouts and twists. Other than this one goal, I am pretty convinced that these other "big" goals that I have consciously (re)placed on my to-do list are achievable goals that are things that I want and things that I am confident about accomplishing.

I came across a quote from author Harvey MacKay online today:

           

            "A dream is just a dream. A goal is a dream with a plan and a deadline."  

I think that many of us allow our dreams die when we become engulfed with the "regular" things we need to do in our lives - parenting, working, cleaning, etc. - or just because we permit ourselves to become too lazy to work toward making a dream into a goal, and becoming even more lazy when it’s time to carry out the plan to achieve that goal. No matter where you are in life, I think it’s important to keep on dreaming and to keep on creating goals from your dreaming. Working with older individuals (a.k.a. “senior citizens” or “elderly”), I see lives being lived with vivacity and fervor by 70-or-80-plus year-olds. Some of our County’s “seniors” in the local line dance classes could probably out-dance me at a shindig. They are living actively despite the biological and sociological barriers that nag at them because they continue to dream, continue to set goals, and continue to thrive. Because they want to and believe that they can. They remind me that at this age, I really have no excuse to be a bundle of defeat.

The goals that still linger in my head are there because they are the products of a dream or two that I am holding onto. I have set some loose guidelines and timelines for them (again!), but will be a little more flexible than I was before; life happens, right? Who knows, they may happen tomorrow, for all I know. I just hope that my family and close friends are ready for a spur-of-the-moment wedding ceremony and reception. Just kidding. Simmer down, folks. That was just a mere example for illustrative purposes. J

Thanks for reading. If you understood, well, thanks for that, too!

Have an amazing day, everyone. God bless y’all!

P.S. Not a totally impressive goal, but here’s a little side story related to a goal I set when I was in high school:

In 1995, Honda Motor Company’s “luxury” division launched the Acura TL sedan. It sported the clean and perfectly balanced lines and build of the Honda lineup of the time, complete with frameless glass windows and yellow fog lights integrated into the headlamps (only true import junkies of that era will understand the “coolness” factor there). I requested a brochure from the Acura dealership in Honolulu as a visual reminder that I would someday drive an Acura TL. I held onto that brochure since then and trashed it only a few years ago.

That someday finally came. I have driven a 1997 Acura TL for the past few years thanks to a lucky buy through a family friend. It looks just like the one that I used to admire on that brochure.

Talk about being patient with a goal.

Heartache and backache.

I love to do my own commentary when I watch gymnastics on television. It's not that Tim Daggett and Elfie Schlaegel are not doing a good job, I just enjoy my fresh bluntness topped with fine profanity where applicable. Okay, so I am technically not qualified to do commentary at the olympic level, but I know good gymnastics when I see it. However, I am saying this as I lay in bed dealing with some problems with my lower back. Forget gymnastics, I could barely ambulate around my house today. Pretty. Darn. Sad.

When I was 10 years old I had already become self taught in the year or so prior in moves like back handsprings and back tuck somersaults. I joined Hilo Gymnastics Club and trained with some old guy as my coach... I can't even remember his name, or wait, I don't think I ever knew it. A few years later I switched to Pacific Gymnastics until I was 16 or so, and then "retired" at the Pantheon School of Gymnastics with some of my friends in the "adult class." I went to college and got fat in my first year sans formal gymnastics, but, joined the now-extinct University of Hawai‘i at Hilo Vulcan Cheerleading squad in 2001. I tumbled and stunted for three years, becoming coach/captain in my senior year. I also coached gymnastics students for a year back at the Pantheon School of Gymnastics and officially ended participation in any form of the sport at the age of 24.

Fast forward to the age of 30.975. The aftermath of years of flipping, twisting, crashing, stretching, splitting, spraining, straining, and hand-standing have caught up with me. I remember the first time my lower back gave out two years ago as I was doing sit-ups on an incline at the fitness center. I crawled to the aerobics room and lay there in pain and shock. Over the last two years I have had numerous recurrences (like this weekend) where I am rendered almost unable to walk or sit without major effort and chance of major pain if I make a wrong move. Almost makes me feel pathetic as I criticize the bent knees in that guy's Stalders on high bar or that girl's lack of a full 180 degree split in her balance beam mount. I. Cannot. Do. A. Cartwheel. Anymore.

I miss the sport. Heck, I miss just being able to touch my toes! But what I really miss is my physical health. I know that gymnastics will always be a passion of mine, but I have come to terms with the passage of time and have claimed my spot as a spectator. I do hope to work on being healthy and fit and flexible again, despite the physical problems that I have incurred. I guess I took my fitness for granted all those years at the peak of my physical capabilities. I refuse to declare that "I am just getting old." Tell that to 1991 floor exercise world champion, Oksana Chusovitina, who participated in 5 olympic games and ended her career as the 2008 olympic champion on vault in Beijing at the age of 33!

So enough laying in bed and anti-inflammatories. The least that I can do for myself is regain my physical health through gradual exercises and therapy (sorry, Shaun T., no more Insanity for a while!) and get away from these backaches once and for all! Off to drill my chiropractor for more tips in fixing my body.

BTW, congratulations to the 2012 olympic men and women's U.S. gymnastics teams! Te trials are through and I think we have some great athletes going to London. They are not immune to my snooty commentary, however! :) Check 'em out here: http://www.nbcolympics.com/team-usa/athletes/sport=gymnastics/index.html

Back to blogging

Here I am. Back at it. I have a lot to share/say and no outlet to do so... so I've decided to see if I can keep at this blogging thing. We shall see if this is the last post for 2012 or not, haha!

I recently signed up for a Wordpress account because one of my friends have started using that for their organization's site. I really have not played with it enough, but I am just wondering if maybe there are better blogging sites out there. Not that it would matter, really, because, how fancy could one really stand to have their blog be?

Well, hope to post again soon!

The Lexus IS of the Computer World

It's been a while since my last post here... but this new iMac is just making me want to do everything online so much more than before. I picked up the base 21.5" iMac - the smallest of the best. So superior to a Windows machine on the inside and outside. I'd consider this all-in-one desktop to be like the Lexus IS series of the computer world.

I've already hooked up my keyboard controller and played on Garageband for a bit earlier. I can't wait to try out the HD webcam on Skype and play some games on here. Oh, I forgot to mention, this computer was purchased with my excess financial aid; I bought it to do my online Master's program... and apparently, other things, too!

Next thing - the iPad 2... just for fun!

The Nic House Project - Episode 2 - The Initial Meeting

The Waiting...

After a mix-up with the location of our meeting, I finally got to talk face-to-face with the contractor that my friend had referred me to. I'm working with a team from Hilo-based company, Dennis Delfin Contracting. They seem like a really good team for such an important life project, and I am glad to have met with them today. Oh, and how very typical "Hilo," Dennis is my dad's classmate. Of course... :)

The Questions and Answers

The draftsman (Clint) went on his merry way asking questions. I don't know if I was very good with the answers. :( Yikes.

Clint: Slab or post & pier?

Nic: Slab cuz it looks nicer. (I refrained from an extended answer including cobwebs and weeds...)

Clint: What kind of roof?

Nic: Regular...? OH! The kind where extending would be easy if I needed to extend later on.

Clint: What kind of ceilings?

Nic: Umm, not open beam but not flat

Clint: Flat ceilings are cheapest

Nic: Okay, flat. Plus, I can reach the light bulbs, right?

Clint: Cesspool or septic?

Nic: *blank stare* Ummm...

Clint: I'll research that.

Clint: What kind of car do you have?

Nic: *Points to the parking lot* That white one. Nissan.

Clint: Okay. Maybe 5 feet plus 3 feet on each side in the garage?

Nic: Sure. Sounds good.

Clint: What kind of counters?

Nic: Silestone? I saw them at Home Depot

Clint: Okay. Granite is better...

Nic: But, more expensive? Okay, granite!

Clint: We'll figure out your allowances for each feature in the home like the counters.

Nic: Oh, I would show you my scary spreadsheet, but... never mind.

Project Location

I made a quick (and motion-sickness-inducing) video on my lunch break to show the team where things would be as far as driveway and house placement. Not sure if it helped, but you can watch my little video if you want. I also gave them some photos just in case the video was just too.. crappy. :)

What's Next?

After the research is done by the draftsman as to where things are under the ground and how the project will pan out as far as expenses and material allowances, the next step would be getting permits acquired, financing secured and have my spreadsheet of expense allocations fine-tuned - I'm talking serial numbers and measurements for televisions, furniture, you name it! :) We'll save that for another episode.

Praying that the project quote comes within my budget...

Thanks, Dennis, Clint & Keola for a good meeting and for making me feel comfortable with such a large (and expensive) project!

The Nic House Project - Episode 1 - I'm Limited

Research/Calculation Time!

I am definitely putting my brain to work calculating scenarios for the building of a home on my parents' lot (see image to the left). I should actually say I am exercising my Microsoft Excel spreadsheet and ten-key skills figuring out loan payments and allowances for modifications and even appliances. If you know me - I gotta have a well-calculated decision before I commit. All I know so far is that our lot's zoning is qualified for an ‘ohana permit which allows a second, separate house to be built on the same lot.

Floor Plans

I've researched floor plans for 2 and 3 bedroom house floor plans from several local companies and have narrowed it down to something like this 2 bedroom floor plan.

If I stick to this design, I am planning to modify the garage to be 1/2 the size and include a bathroom in place of the laundry room... I shall figure out the laundry room thing later. Luckily, an open house for this exact model home was available for public viewing a few weeks ago and I really liked the layout of the rooms. It's small but it's more than enough for me. If I ever need more space, can you say, "extension?" Right now, budget drives my limits, but I really like the placement of the rooms in this model and it would fit nicely on my lot without having any windows peering back into my parents' windows.

Here's the edited floor plan that I made in Photoshop:

The Home Depot Wanderer

Last week I visited the Home Depot and walked around - always calculating - and checked out kitchen counters and cabinets and flooring and doors and windows and... everything! Too many choices = lots of time spent. I think I walked around for almost 2 hours but I got to talk to one of the staff about kitchen installations. Lots of good information from him - thanks... dude (forgot his name)!

Although I love the Home Depot, I think the first matter to tend to would be the actually house structure - after that's built I might not even have the money for Silestone counters and quiet-shut cabinet drawers that I was draw to that day... This leads me to the creation of a prioritization list for my home.

Prioritizing the Non-Priorities

1. Laminate wood floors for living and bedroom areas

2. Tiles in kitchen/bathroom areas

3. Silestone seamless kitchen and bathroom counters

4. Vaulted ceilings

Those are the main things I would add/modify if there were enough resources left within my budget after everything else was built.

Taking Action

Well, I ain't building this house myself, so I am arranging to meet with a local contractor/builder company in the next two weeks or so. He seems like a great guy to work with and has been very helpful so far in just the two days I've talked and e-mailed with him. We shall see what comes of our initial project meeting. Thank you to my buddy Lisa for referring me to him.

More to come as this project moves along!

I Do Believe... I Have Been Changed for the Better

Click below for a Soundtrack to this blog

Wicked Soundtrack - "For Good"

This is the song that triggered the topic of this blog. You might want to "right click - open in a new tab" so you don't lose this page. Sorry, was too lazy to put in fancy HTML that is not readily available in my "techy" lexicon.

I'm Limited... You Can Do All I Couldn't Do.

Standards. For ourselves. If you're anything like me, the pinnacles of your own standards are out of view because they're just too darn high. For me, (and maybe you, too, if you can relate to the previous sentence) I've set standards that seem to laugh at me from somewhere up there, from the high peak upon which they sit. If they could talk, they'd probably be saying something like, "Doofus, you can't reach us... or even see us! Mwuahaha *evil music plays here*!" But then, they're so high-in-the-sky that I don't hear 'em at all.

Yup, this is me. I've come a long way in accepting that I have limits and that it's okay. I'm limited. And there will be people better than me in all aspects of life. They can do things I can't do. I along with many other people (I am assuming?) fail to accept this. Fortunately, it's simply resolved by taking a step back from that high tower of standards piercing the upper stratosphere and taking a glance at them - at yourself - from a distance.

My worst enemy holds these standards way up there. His name is Perfectionism. He makes me tired when I don't feel like I should be. He makes me spend extra time on things that should take seconds. He makes me appear to have OCD tendencies (no offense to anyone). However, through the years I have come to accept him as the one who presents me with the life challenges to prove myself to be unlimited. I am continually gaining understanding of how much this "characteristic" of mine is actually contributing to some of my better qualities. I just need to remember those qualities and find more of them. And, he also reminds me that all the things other people can do, they really don't matter; maybe I can do all I couldn't do - if I try.

I rely on others in my life to push me over the tougher peaks and drag me through the deeper valleys of my love-hate relationship with good ol' Perfectionism. Becoming a better person, I have found, is a choice you need to make and take action on. However, we are a societal species, so interaction with others, both good and bad, are important catalysts for our self-improvement.

Because I Knew You...

My friends, my enemies, my coworkers, my bosses... my evil bosses. They've all played a part in the creation of ME. Yup, even if I disliked you from day one, trust me, you've given me a piece of life that I would not have experienced with anyone else. So with this I say, "Thank You."

"Like a stream that meets a boulder halfway through the woods." Conflict creates beautiful things in the world around us; conflict is a natural occurrence. Valleys, rivers, beaches, even diamonds, are all products of conflicting forces and elements. If we could see the people who have caused us hurt in life in this same light, we might spend less time bulking about bad relationships, fights and mutual misunderstandings. Easier said than done? Errr, ask me again later. :)

Like a comet pulled from orbit as it passes the sun. For the good people we meet, hopefully we are attracted to them and make them a positive inclusion in our lives. They teach us things about life and about ourselves and we hope to keep these people at our sides for a lifetime. They serve as constant reminders of how we continually grow and improve - and gain positive things in life because of our own action of simply living!

I Have Been Changed for Good

Going back to my friend Mr. Perfectionism, well... he sometimes acts like the little red incarnation of a "devil" sitting on my shoulder, whispering negative hullabaloo into my ear and just making me upset about things in life that I don't like or don't agree with. I'm almost 30 years old and I am finally standing up to him on a regular basis when he is in this mode.

Our lives are like stories that are being written by the nanosecond. The only thing is, there's no editing. What you see is what you get and there's no going back to do spell-checks or censoring. We live with what we're dealt, whether good or bad. This is where it's a matter of what we perceive and what we accept. I think this is something I and probably most of you would like to work on a little more each day, huh? It's okay. Accept it. We are limited, but, only if we allow ourselves to be.

For all of the people I have met in my life, I do believe I have been changed for the better... Because I knew you I have been changed for good.

Afterthoughts...

This blog should be labeled as "babble" but then again, the blog as a whole is from the COMPLICATED BRAIN of NIC... so, if you read this far. Yippeee, you're complicated like me! :)