Wedding Weekend

WEDDING WEEKEND

Most of this past weekend I spent on the west side of Hawai‘i. I was a "bride's man" in my friends' wedding party (Congrats Les & Jeff!!!). Since last week's blog was about relationships and getting married, I think it's an appropriate time to do a follow-up after attending and being a part of a wedding.

The Location

If you ever have the chance, funds, and time, the Four Seasons Resort Hualalai at Ka‘upulehu is an incredible luxury resort for a very relaxing weekend. The facilities, staff, wedding planner, food, atmosphere - just about everything - including the bathrooms, were very plush and comfortable. I believe rooms start above $500, so... bring your instant saimin, bread and bologna. :) Along with the incredible grounds, there were quite a few goats, francolin and other wild animals adding to the "Hawaiian shoreline garden" atmosphere.

The Ceremony

Sweet and simple and quick. :) The weather was perfect and everything went smoothly... except that the flower girl didn't really grasp the idea that she really DID need to throw the flowers - not just pretend. (Good job, Marissa!)

The Reception

Prime rib buffet & desserts - top notch. Nummies! I personally like the end piece with the salts and seasonings on it. ONO!

POST-WEDDING FEELINGS

Okay, so this was my first time to bear the honor of being in a wedding party and it was great. Seeing my friends exchange vows to share a lifetime together forever didn't "scare" me as much as I thought. I guess the closest experience to marriage, for me, would be buying a $30,000 truck, a relationship which ended due to financial discomfort (not unlike some human-on-human relationships, maybe? haha!). Okay, maybe the truck purchase isn't the greatest example for synonymy's sake, but, the idea of commitment for a long period of time (a lifetime is what you shoot for at a wedding) frightens me a teeeeeeeny bit. Just a bit.

I think my fears stem from my self-centered tendencies. I am sure you're all thinking, "Noooo, you're sooooo nice and blah blah blah..." If you're not thinking that, stop reading and delete me from your buddy lists IMMEDIATELY. Just kidding! :)

Okay, where was I? Oh. Yes. ME! I feel like I still haven't figured out how to take care of myself altogether, so what would make me think that I could take care of someone else in addition to needy lil me? Plus, I drive myself crazy sometimes... I don't want to have someone else deal with it, too, right? Hahaha!

That's my post-wedding feelings - not too far from my pre-wedding feelings, I guess. Oh pooh!

Marriage: Get Off My Chair!!!

My Comfy Chair

I am nearing my third decade of life and many of my friends are already married or will be getting married soon. I am currently sitting on a chair labeled "Eternal Bachelor by Choice." Maybe it's my self-centered, OCD-like qualities that keep me there, but I intend to stay in this comfy place until someone gives me a reason to budge. Continue reading for more details...

A How-To Guide to Budging Nic Off of His Chair

Well, this guide will be short and has only one major step.

1. BE HONEST.

I hear of so many relationships tarnished by marriage. I hear it can be pretty expensive to get a divorce filed and completed - I say not expensive enough. Hike up the legal fees and whatnot and maybe people will think twice about working things out.

According to Buzzle.com, the top three quoted reasons for divorce are:

• Lack of commitment to the marriage
• Lack of communication between spouses
• Infidelity

So, I've only got one step in my guide (no worries, this one step encompasses around 2,527 subsequent steps! haha!) and it looks like it's the step that people miss most often when "deciding" to get married. The first thing people ask after someone proclaims, "We're getting married next month!" would probably be something like, "Congratulations! How long have you been together?" My opinion on this: anything under 12 months is questionable but okay. Anything under 6 months - you've missed sole Step 1: BE HONEST.

Marriage is Important, Right???

Correct me if I am wrong, but, I thought that marriage is supposed to be one of the most significant life events for people? Why cheat yourself on this one just because you want to get married. Sure, there are life goals, biological clocks and personal deadlines, but something this big - supposedly spending the rest of your life with another person - seems pretty big.

Sure, I've had relationships where I thought to myself, "This is it - The one I'm gonna be with forever!" only to find myself scratching my head months later wondering where things changed. To me, one of the most important parts of marriage is the time you spend together BEFORE you decide to jump into the legal bond. This is why I think that if you skip Step 1: BE HONEST and lie to yourself about your relationship, guess what? I think you're probably gonna suffer through this marriage for a while.

Disclaimer:

All this coming from someone who chooses to be single seems ultra-biased but this is MY blog! If you read this far, thanks!