Poem: Ducklings & Bread

A friend once gave me a little fortune/horoscope thing that said I should follow where love takes me, like a little duckling. To remind me to be less of a butt-head, I bought myself a little stuffed animal duckling to keep in my car.

In the past half-year or so, I've done just that... follow along like a little duckling. And the following poem should give you an idea of how this metaphor has played out in my life so far.

In advance...thank you for reading.



Ducklings & Bread


Little duckling in the lake
Swim on over and get your take
Feast on as much as you like
A loaf of bread, come take a bite

Come in closer and I can see
You’re as cute as a duck can be
‘Whaaap!’ I kick you just because
Off run in a puff of fuzz

Away into the water you run
Upset that I had ruined the fun
Of partaking in this yummy treat
Quickly you paddle your tiny feet

Look, I’m still throwing bread
You reconsider your swim ahead
Around you turn and now you know
It’s not really how you thought it so

When you felt the thud of my heel
Pain wasn’t what I meant you to feel
It was to guide you another way
“Look, a bigger piece!” what I meant to say

Now you know I meant the best
Despite the quick pain in your chest
My intentions were for you to be
Aware of all the things you can see

Now and then we need that kick
To get us seeing, get our brains to tick
To remind us that it’s fine to accept
And disallow options that might intercept

Sometimes that quick moment of pain
Is the only way that you can gain
More than just what’s in your head
A bigger piece of the bread

The throbbing pain then starts to fade
You reconsider the choice you’ve made
To run from that one tiny kick
Another try you decide to pick

You can see the next bigger piece
A grander and more robust feast
Your little feet start to scramble
Much quicker than a little ramble

To find another crumb I’ve thrown
Bigger than the one you’ve known
With a grateful grin you turn to me
I’ve shown you just how better can be

Thanking me with a little ‘quack’
For showing you a different way back
To where bigger and better lay
A piece of bread for another day



This poem is dedicated someone who has made me see
a better figure when I look in the mirror,
a better conqueror in the endeavors I dream of,
a better person in doing the simple things I love,
a better part in the lives I touch.

Thank you for kicking me to a bigger piece of bread... *quack!*

Wishing only wounds the heart...

Wishing?

Wishing and daydreaming about big things for yourself is something most normal humans do. I mean, don't you think things like "Oooh, I really wish I had a JITB Ultimate Cheeseburger right now!" or "Maybe someday I will be able to build my own home!" Well, that's good... shows you are thinking of yourself which is important - not conceited (in controlled doses!).

Action...

The lack of action makes just wishing a potentially damaging thing, as it alone will usually not suffice for Ultimate Cheeseburger production. So you jump in the car, grab some cash at the ATM and head on over to Jack in the Box. Simple enough, but, you still had to actively do it to make your calorie-packed snack (a huge one) a reality. I think this is where a lot of people get stuck or simple just don't get to in their life wishes: action: the lack of it. However, I like to have some guidelines so I don't aimlessly wander around dreamland looking for my goal and being sidetracked by things along the way. "Oh look, there it is, under that rock! Nope, just some bugs... looked like my goal.. guess not."

Goal!

Setting goals and a plan to reach bigger "wishes" is always a good thing. Well, maybe it is for me because I am a very visual person. If I can see a plan and basic path to the end goal, I am more likely to see my way to it. Setting goals is a good way to exercise (and reach) your success in life. Because our brains think in pictures, you really need to visualize your end goal to give your brain a better chance to say, "Hey, I can see it happening!" I am not gonna guarantee you a body like that lil wolf guy from The Twilight Saga: New Moon just by staring at a poster of him, but because your brain sees images, it probably does help!

As you stare at this guy on the wall, you can say "I wanna look like that." You can help things along by first changing your goal to be specific, realistic, timely - and in present tense. For example, you could say "I have a body like Jacob Black at the end of next year." Sounds like you're going backwards into simply-wishing mode, but, remembering your brain's imaged-based goal center, you can write goals in this fashion in order to create a mental photo of yourself looking like a cut-bodied human-form werewolf. The next part is to be diligent about envisioning your goal. Write your goal down daily for 21+ days straight and you just might see yourself doing little things here and there to get going to your new body.

I am sure you can find documented research on this theory I just typed about. I am just remembering something I learned at a seminar a few years back. Don't quote me on any of this... but if you wanna look it up, look for brain stuff online about forming habits and stuff about the amygdala and stuff. Fun!!! And, just so you know, an Ultimate Cheeseburger does not help you reach the goal in the scenario above.

Wishing for something is good, but it alone is like a recipe card sitting on the counter. Setting a goal towards finding a path to that wish is even better - you've read the recipe and have your ingredients! Taking action towards that goal is the frosting on the cake. The rest is up to your character and preserverence to get to that cake baked, frosted and in your stomach. (Okay weird analogy, but, too bad!)

Whatever it is I am wishing, hoping, striving for, I try to learn from the good and bad. I like to see everything I do as a lesson to myself... and possibly others.


live the life you love... love the life you live.


PS: This was a non-wedding/relationship blog! Hahaha!

PS: FYI: The title of this blog is a line from Wicked's "I'm Not That Girl"

Wedding Weekend

WEDDING WEEKEND

Most of this past weekend I spent on the west side of Hawai‘i. I was a "bride's man" in my friends' wedding party (Congrats Les & Jeff!!!). Since last week's blog was about relationships and getting married, I think it's an appropriate time to do a follow-up after attending and being a part of a wedding.

The Location

If you ever have the chance, funds, and time, the Four Seasons Resort Hualalai at Ka‘upulehu is an incredible luxury resort for a very relaxing weekend. The facilities, staff, wedding planner, food, atmosphere - just about everything - including the bathrooms, were very plush and comfortable. I believe rooms start above $500, so... bring your instant saimin, bread and bologna. :) Along with the incredible grounds, there were quite a few goats, francolin and other wild animals adding to the "Hawaiian shoreline garden" atmosphere.

The Ceremony

Sweet and simple and quick. :) The weather was perfect and everything went smoothly... except that the flower girl didn't really grasp the idea that she really DID need to throw the flowers - not just pretend. (Good job, Marissa!)

The Reception

Prime rib buffet & desserts - top notch. Nummies! I personally like the end piece with the salts and seasonings on it. ONO!

POST-WEDDING FEELINGS

Okay, so this was my first time to bear the honor of being in a wedding party and it was great. Seeing my friends exchange vows to share a lifetime together forever didn't "scare" me as much as I thought. I guess the closest experience to marriage, for me, would be buying a $30,000 truck, a relationship which ended due to financial discomfort (not unlike some human-on-human relationships, maybe? haha!). Okay, maybe the truck purchase isn't the greatest example for synonymy's sake, but, the idea of commitment for a long period of time (a lifetime is what you shoot for at a wedding) frightens me a teeeeeeeny bit. Just a bit.

I think my fears stem from my self-centered tendencies. I am sure you're all thinking, "Noooo, you're sooooo nice and blah blah blah..." If you're not thinking that, stop reading and delete me from your buddy lists IMMEDIATELY. Just kidding! :)

Okay, where was I? Oh. Yes. ME! I feel like I still haven't figured out how to take care of myself altogether, so what would make me think that I could take care of someone else in addition to needy lil me? Plus, I drive myself crazy sometimes... I don't want to have someone else deal with it, too, right? Hahaha!

That's my post-wedding feelings - not too far from my pre-wedding feelings, I guess. Oh pooh!

Marriage: Get Off My Chair!!!

My Comfy Chair

I am nearing my third decade of life and many of my friends are already married or will be getting married soon. I am currently sitting on a chair labeled "Eternal Bachelor by Choice." Maybe it's my self-centered, OCD-like qualities that keep me there, but I intend to stay in this comfy place until someone gives me a reason to budge. Continue reading for more details...

A How-To Guide to Budging Nic Off of His Chair

Well, this guide will be short and has only one major step.

1. BE HONEST.

I hear of so many relationships tarnished by marriage. I hear it can be pretty expensive to get a divorce filed and completed - I say not expensive enough. Hike up the legal fees and whatnot and maybe people will think twice about working things out.

According to Buzzle.com, the top three quoted reasons for divorce are:

• Lack of commitment to the marriage
• Lack of communication between spouses
• Infidelity

So, I've only got one step in my guide (no worries, this one step encompasses around 2,527 subsequent steps! haha!) and it looks like it's the step that people miss most often when "deciding" to get married. The first thing people ask after someone proclaims, "We're getting married next month!" would probably be something like, "Congratulations! How long have you been together?" My opinion on this: anything under 12 months is questionable but okay. Anything under 6 months - you've missed sole Step 1: BE HONEST.

Marriage is Important, Right???

Correct me if I am wrong, but, I thought that marriage is supposed to be one of the most significant life events for people? Why cheat yourself on this one just because you want to get married. Sure, there are life goals, biological clocks and personal deadlines, but something this big - supposedly spending the rest of your life with another person - seems pretty big.

Sure, I've had relationships where I thought to myself, "This is it - The one I'm gonna be with forever!" only to find myself scratching my head months later wondering where things changed. To me, one of the most important parts of marriage is the time you spend together BEFORE you decide to jump into the legal bond. This is why I think that if you skip Step 1: BE HONEST and lie to yourself about your relationship, guess what? I think you're probably gonna suffer through this marriage for a while.

Disclaimer:

All this coming from someone who chooses to be single seems ultra-biased but this is MY blog! If you read this far, thanks!

Initiate: Blog!

Blogging is like public journaling, which is supposedly healthy for your emotional well-being. I've made strides with my physical health, so here's to adding in some mental health. I've tried keeping hand-written journals before, all of them ending a few entries into the front cover - just not for me, I guess? We'll give this site a whirl.

Right now I am on a morning break with my usual yogurt. Time to post my first blog... :)